How is Odysseus a good role model?

Although he is also quite humanly flawed, Odysseus is a good role model for several reasons.
First, he is loyal. Despite the fact that he does sleep with Circe and Calypso while he's away, Odysseus remains loyal to his wife, Penelope. More than anything else, he wants to get home to her and his son, Telemachus. As a mortal, he really cannot refuse a goddess without terribly offending her and possibly bringing down more trouble on himself and/or his wife, so we cannot really hold his infidelity against Odysseus in the way we might in real life.
Second, Odysseus is fair. He knows that, when the ship passes Scylla, it is likely that each of her six heads will snatch up and eat a man alive. He doesn't tell his men about this danger, because he doesn't want them to frighten them—so he actually could hide below deck and save himself without alarming them. However, he throws in his lot with everyone else and remains above deck because he believes that he cannot risk his men without risking himself as well.
Third, Odysseus tries to take good care of his crew; he values them. For example, when a few of his men eat the lotus fruit and no longer want to return home, he muscles each one back to the ship. They refuse him and claim that they just want to stay there, and they fight him, but he overpowers them because he knows how much they really do, in their heart of hearts, want to get back home to their families, despite what they say now.

While there are a number of ways to answer this question, one admirable aspect of the great hero Odysseus is his expectation for the decent treatment of hosts and guests. For the ancient Greeks, the concept of xenia, guest-friendship or hospitality, was an important rule. Xenia demanded that a host treat a guest respectfully, caring for their every need. The host should provide food, shelter, comfort, a gift - and, importantly, not ask any questions until the guest's needs were met. Similarly, the guest should be respectful of the host by being courteous, kind, and knowing when to leave. Xenia typically expects an exchange of gifts between the host and the guest, if possible. In a world in which gods and goddesses were believed to be walking amongst men, following the expectations of xenia was a way to ensure that you were not disrespecting an immortal.

We see how important xenia is to the Greeks when Odysseus hopes for this hospitality from the monstrous Cyclops, Polyphemus. In fact, his first address to the Cyclops is a pretty good summary of the Greek emphasis on xenia. In book 9, he says to the Cyclops:


"since we’ve chanced on you, we’re at your knees in hopes of a warm welcome, even a guest-gift, the sort that hosts give strangers. That’s the custom. Respect the gods, my friend. We’re suppliants—at your mercy! Zeus of the Strangers guards all guests and suppliants: strangers are sacred—Zeus will avenge their rights!" (9.300-303).


Here, Odysseus is so sure of the rights of guests, so confident that this mutual respect must be given, that he confronts the Cyclops by asking for favor and protection. While his men are "terrified by his rumbling voice and monstrous hulk," (9.289) Odysseus demonstrates that they should not abandon societal norms and divine expectations of xenia. Only when Polyphemus shows that he will not be a good host, a point he makes quite clearly by dashing two men against the rocks a few lines later, does Odysseus give up on his duty as a good guest.

But of course the best example of what not to do as a guest comes from the suitors. While there are of course many moments to show their disrespect, Odysseus himself points out how the suitors do not live up to the expectations of xenia. In talking with Telemachus and Eumaeus the swineherd, Odysseus says that he would:


"rather die, cut down in [his] own house than have to look on at [the suitors] outrage day by day. Guests treated to blows, men dragging the serving-women through the noble house, exploiting them all, no shame, and the gushing wine swilled, the food squandered— gorging for gorging’s sake— and the courting game goes on, no end in sight! (16.118-124).


Odysseus shows that the way to respond to this behavior of the suitors is with disgust, and that one should recognize their actions as unacceptable. In fact, he says he would rather die than to see the rules of xenia disrespected in this way. An ancient Greek listener of this story (because remember, the Odyssey like other early Greek classics was listened to by its original audience, not read) would have seen in Odysseus the perfect model of xenia, one who knows what to expect and recognizes the stakes of disregarding. And of course we know how this plays out for the suitors - they are fully repaid for their disregard of xenia.

While today we may see guest-friendship and hospitality differently, there are continuing elements from Odysseus's time. Don't attend a dinner party without bringing something for the host, be respectful to your guests, and know when to leave - these are all modern lessons that have their origin with Odysseus and the Greek model of xenia.