Both Lena St. Clair and Rose Hsu Jordan are in failing marriages by the third section of the novel (when the Chinese American daughters are now adult women), both women also appear in each other's stories commenting on the other woman's situation.
The marriages are similar in that both women are unhappy and feel overpowered by their husbands. In the case of Rose, it's a given because she is described as "without wood"—she is a bit of a pushover and is indecisive. On the other hand, the inequality in Lena's marriage is ironic considering the extent to which she and her husband Harold focus on balance and equality. They keep lists of what they pay for and how much of common supplies they each use. However, Lena realizes that the relationship isn't as equal as it may appear on the surface:
So really, we're equals, except that Harold makes about seven times more than what I make.
The marriage ends up seeming less like a romantic partnership and more like some sort of business deal. Eventually, Lena becomes unhappy with the arrangement, realizing despite appearances, Harold holds all the power in the relationship. Lena loses herself in her marriage, and by the end of the story, she is at a turning point but feels out of control, as reflected by the question her mother asks: "Then why didn't you stop it?" However, Lena has no answer.
As opposed to Lena's feeling of being lost and out of control, Rose ends her story by asserting herself, insisting that she keep the house that Ted wants. Rose and Ted's relationship is definitively over, as divorce papers have been filed, but Rose refuses to remain a pushover and let Ted have whatever he wants. It's interesting that Lena is one person who clearly sees how "manipulated" Rose was in her marriage and believes Rose should seek revenge on her husband in the divorce. Lena advises, "If I were you, I'd get the name of a good lawyer and go for everything you can. Get even." The women are able to see the flaws in each other's relationships when they struggle to deal with the conflicts in their own marriages. However, their shared experiences growing up inform the way they can relate to one another during these times of turmoil.
Rose's and Lena's marriages are similar in various ways. Both of them started with what they thought were very happy marriages, but they eventually realized more and more how destructive their relationships were with their respective husbands. The progressions of their marriages are very much shaped by their childhoods.
Rose grew up as a very passive child who found it difficult making decisions. She always seemed afraid of making a bad or "wrong" decision, so she would rather make no decision at all. This way, she could avoid conflict in the first place. For Lena, a possible explanation for her passiveness in her marriage is that she feels she is getting what she deserves for saying something terrible during her childhood—wishing that Arnold were dead rather than having to marry him, and having this wish actually become a reality.
The main difference between their marriages is in how they deal with the situation. In Rose's marriage, she finally gains the confidence to stand up for herself and her own needs, rather than trying to please her husband. She becomes more assertive in demanding how she would like to proceed with her divorce with Ted, rather than allowing her husband to decide as she had always done in the past. Lena, on the other hand, does not appear to change in the same way. Even after her mother describes the troubles in her relationship with her husband, she continues to sit passively and cry, unsure what to do.
There are many similarities and differences between the marriages of Rose Hsu Jordan and Lena St. Clair.
Both women are caught in unhappy marriages: Rose Hsu Jordan to Ted, and Lena St. Clair to Harold. Both also find themselves unable to assert their opinions or authority in their relationships. Rose does not stand up for herself, and Lena does not take initiative to change the things that make her unhappy (for example, Harold keeps a balance sheet to track her monetary debts). Both marriages make the women feel inferior to their husbands.
The marriages differ in that Rose eventually asserts herself and confronts Ted after he files for divorce. She finally tells him that she wants to keep the house and enlists a lawyer to serve him papers. Lena, on the other hand, still remains passive, despite sensing that her marriage is doomed. Her mother attempts to show Lena the danger that her marriage is in, but the novel finishes with Lena still passive and undecided.
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